My triumphant return to my personal blog is starting off with a blatant rip off of an quick post that Lance did over at Film Drunk one of my favorite sites on the web. I’m even going to steal his crappy photoshop for it.
When I first started to read the article about L.A. Zombie it seemed to be the usual crap, bunch of Aussies pissed off about gay zombies. Having spent some time in the eastern Mediterranean with a couple over privileged Australian guys I realized that everything that Europeans hate about Americans really should be directed towards Australians.
They were loud as hell, constantly yelling at various Greek and Turkish service workers in some strange language that none of us understood, they claimed it was English. They also referred to almost everything as poofters, asking over and over again if I were a poofer, or others were poofters the entire time drinking Smirnoff Ice by the gallon. It was like some strange other frat guys from another dimension, I mean I understand pounding Mike’s Hard Lemonade and accusing everyone of being a fag, but what the hell was this?
It was when I was reading the quote from some stupid newspaper and came to this line “rejecting the film by Canadian director Bruce LaBruce.” At first I thought it was something from the filmdrunk commentary, and a joke, but it wasn’t, that was actually the guys name. Which I found very odd since we know that everyone from Australia is named Bruce and I’m pretty sure that LaBruce is a very standard surname as it clearly means Mrs. Bruce, probably indicating that he had a single mom, poor bastard.
What really made this so utterly amazing was in the next quote from Brietbart.com that indicated that the film festival board director was named Donald McDonald; how this could not be a huge prank I have no idea. Since Donald McDonald is clearly the most Canadian name ever I think this all boils down two long lost brothers, separated at birth due to the crash of a streamliner in the north pacific, one adopted by his Canadian aunt, the other taken in by a lowly pig dog breeder in Australia that read about the tragedy in the news, and by read I of course mean over heard someone shouting about it at the pub.
This story of gay L.A. Vampires has brought these two brothers together across the biggest ocean in the world and a world of difference in their views on life, pretty much Perfect Strangers mixed with Crocodile Dundee and Strange Brew. Built in audience, 80s nestolgia, gay vampires, give me a call Hollywood, I’ll have the script ready to be re-written 4 more times by Monday.
Now that’s a photoshop!
No comments:
Post a Comment