Clown make up is so hard core

Since you read this blog I can only assume that you very aware of GOTJ 11, or as it’s officially known the 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos and the amazing infomercial for this event that can be found over at the youtube.com.  Not that I’m not a fan of hatchets to the dick or anything, but I find the idea of an entire subculture completely based around the fictional world created by Insane Clown Posey to be almost incomprehensible.  One time my sister said she thought that you had to burst through some kind of bubble to leave the atmosphere of the earth and although completely stupid, I can at least understand how someone might think that, Juggalos on the other hand simply make no sense.  I remember being at a park in a pretty nice area of Salt Lake and running into some Juggalos who felt the need to tell us about how they keep meat cleavers in the back of their cars and all had multiple DUIs but the last one was for weed so it didn’t seem fair they had to get one of those breathalyzer ignition devices.  Anyway, the next day we did a bunch of mushrooms and went back to the park where there were a bunch of like 10 year old kids playing and my buddy was so worried that they may grow up to be Juggalos that he had to go back home where he had a total freak out for like 4 hours.  So there’s that.

I have to say that I am having a very hard time believing that there are so many groups out there that thought,”boy what my crappy rock rap needs to make it awesome is crappy clown make up mixed with a Slip Knot aesthetic.”  Thanks once again ICP.  I’m glad that these ethnically ambiguous wiggers for lack of a better term have felt that just doing meth and hanging out at Wallmart to buy pink hair dye and pregnancy test did not define their culture well enough so that the Juggalo had to be invented.  Also what the hell is Naughty by Nature doing at this thing?  Have they become mother fucking hatchet killers? Whatever that means.  Also I hope you paid special attention to the guest comedians, because where else are Tom Green and Galager going to headline.  I have to say I was also very intrigued by the idea of special ICP seminars, how great would an SNL skit be with Tony Robbins talking like Juggalo.  I’m almost to the point that I want to go to this thing and write a Rolling Stone style 5000 word expose on it.  Here’s Juggalo News just in case you guys thought that they went too far with that parody.

Also, normally I wouldn’t advocate killing people nor would I ever want to agree with a youtube commenter named jesuslovesblackmetal, but he has a point when he says, “Just bomb the fucking "gathering". It's just a bunch of worthless, trailer trash, inbred fucking undesirables in one place at the same fucking time. Nobody will mourn their deaths. In fact, I'm quite positive we will gain more than we lose doing this. Juggalo genocide, anyone?”  Thanks jesuslovesblackmetal for making me hate myself a little bit.